RATING: 1-1/2 stars
Original air date: 05/08/15
This episode, final one of the season, starts on US Route 83 near Garrison, North Dakota (though we know it is really not). Route 83, according to Wikipedia, is one of the longest north-south highways in the USA. An "Unmarked Military Transport" is travelling down this highway. There are two trucks followed by a larger truck which looks sort of like a UPS van, which in turn is followed by another two trucks. In the middle truck (I guess) are six W80 nuclear warheads. Good old Wikipedia describes the W80s as "a small thermonuclear warhead (fusion or, more descriptively, two-stage weapon) in the enduring stockpile with a variable yield of between 5 and 150 kt of TNT." The part about "5 and 150 kt of TNT" is mentioned specifically in the show along with a bunch of other shit. (Hey, do you think the writers are cribbing from Wikipedia?)
Two other military-like trucks pass this transport. Now you would think that because the transport is "unmarked" and "secret" and stuff like that, it might consider these other trucks to be suspicious, but no one bats an eyelash. These other two trucks drive real fast ahead of the transport and position themselves on opposite sides of the road and between these two trucks is strung some REALLY strong wire, which looks like a garrote. ("Garrote" is found on Wikipedia, in case you do not know what it is.)
The mechanics of all this escapes me, but what happens is, the transport, at least the first truck, drives into this wire, which slices right through the truck like a knife through butter. From what we learn later in the show, it sounds like it sliced through all five trucks of the transport, though this is hard to believe. Surely the people in the third or fourth or fifth truck would have figured out what was going on and stopped before this happened. And wasn't there a risk that the wire might have sliced through the nuclear weapons along with the trucks and the people inside? And wouldn't the trucks the wire is strung between have to be REALLY strong (and heavy) in order to pull off this manoeuvre? Questions, questions...
A bunch of guys connected with the garotting trucks, right-wing patriot crackpots led by Josh Bennett (Jeffrey Nordling), a guy who Chin Ho later describes as a "nut job," because he was not allowed to be in the US military thanks to his borderline personality disorder, grab just one of the six nukes and high tail it to Fischer Pvt (which means "private," I guess) Airport in Garrison (this is a real place, according to you-know-what).
Bennett and his pals are supposed to board a plane there, but, according to one of their members, a guy with a real short haircut (Matthew Webb), "We have a situation," military talk for "something is fucked up." The plane they were expecting to use isn't coming because of "mechanical problems." But nearby they see this other plane, a G-5 plane (meaning Gulfstream V, a business jet aircraft, blah blah blah, according to WKP), and commandeer it, telling its pilot "We're going to Hawaii."
In due course, this plane arrives in Hawaii at John Rodgers Field in Kalaeloa (this is really the name of Kalaeloa Airport, that's what WKP tells us). The pilot is dead, and within a few minutes, Grover is freaking out because the Department of Defense tells him about how nukes were stolen near Garrison, though there is no direct connection made with this plane until some guys from the HPD bomb squad with geiger counters go through the plane and determine that yes, there is residual radiation, likely from the nukes, on the plane. McGarrett looks towards the plane, and stunned, says "They're here," a line reminiscent of the classic 1950's film Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Now Kono is getting married REAL soon to Adam. Earlier, Chin Ho had a big confrontation with Adam over the pictures of Adam taken with Japanese yakuza boss Goro Shioma (see review of the last show), but Adam told Chin that "it's not what you think," and that he had travelled to Japan to try and break ties with Shioma, who had put up the original money for his (Adam's) late father's businesses in Hawaii. Shioma said no dice, he wants Adam to return to the same state his father was when he started, i.e., with no material possessions. Adam says that is cool with him, because Kono is not a material girl. Chin accepts this.
Kono shows up at the airfield with Chin, ready to put in a day's work, though McGarrett says she ought to be getting ready for her wedding. In an example of the utterly brainless dialogue the writers have given her throughout the show, when told that the bad guys only brought one of six nukes along, she says "Oh, well, there's some good news. Only one to worry about." Seriously, Kono, you should have stayed home reading Modern Bride!
I forgot to mention that Catherine, McGarrett's girl friend, has returned. We last saw her in S04E21, when she rode off into the sunset in Afghanistan to help some old friends find their son who was kidnapped by the Taliban. The return of both the character and the actress playing her, Michelle Borth, who was thought gone from the show forever, set off the usual shitstorm of people who don't like either the actress or her character in the usual fan forums. Not much happens between her and McGarrett, because he is always getting called away to work, though there are suggestions that she will be sticking around. I hope so, because Borth is a goddess and these haters can go you-know-what themselves (a word discussed in Wikipedia).
Catherine, though she has left the Navy completely, still has "intel" connections, who tell her that it is likely that Bennett is on Oahu to barter a deal with Sameer Hadad, an Al-Qaeda lieutenant who has shown a propensity for buying nuclear weapons, and there may be some connection with "a local shipping company." Five-0 quickly arrives at the docks and manages to find a container among thousands there where Hadad has set up his headquarters. After a firefight, some guy who is Hadad's pal spills the beans as to where Bennett can be located, and upon arriving at this location (an auto wrecker's), another firefight erupts. McGarrett pursues Bennett over a bunch of cars to be scrapped, during which Bennett turns and fires directly at McGarrett but, of course, does not hit him. But when McGarrett shoots back, Bennett is hit in the leg and falls through a car window and is captured.
Taken to the blue-lit room, which we learn from McGarrett during his interrogation is 60 feet underground and a four-foot-thick cinder block box ("so no one can hear you scream," I suppose), Bennett, described as a nine-to-five hardware store manager from Coshocton, Ohio (a real town!), does not break down, even after McGarrett shoots him in the leg (the same leg as was hit before, see below for further discussion about this). As to why Bennett was motivated to do this terrible deed (we're talking nuclear annihilation), he tells McGarrett that after 9/11, he was disgusted by how the government mollycoddled terrorists, and by appearing to sell the nuke to Hadad, he will make him into a scapegoat so that a war will erupt and they will soon be dropping bombs all over the Middle East, reducing it to a parking lot.
But all this is not true, because Hadad is found washed up on the beach soon after, and Max determines that he was killed BEFORE Bennett was taken into custody. In other words, Bennett is still the big boss of the plan which will transform Waikiki into what looks like the bottom of a Shake and Bake bag.
Kono, still not thinking too hard about her nuptials, tells the others that she has been reading Bennett's computer files forwarded by the DOD, and there is a reference in there to the Waikiki Trolley. A nuclear-sized light bulb comes on in her head, and -- YES! -- she has the solution to WHERE IS THE STOLEN NUKE. Five-0 rushes to find a trolley whose driver was found dead that very morning, including Catherine, who is still driving the blue Corvette she was seen using when she was last on the show. She also is carrying a gun and her car has a flashing blue light.
Pulling the trolley over near the beach, McGarrett shoots the driver -- who just happens to be Mr. Short Haircut from the Fischer Private Airport -- dead. BUT ... there is still a big problem with the nuke, which is going to go off in about two hours and THERE IS NO WAY TO DISARM IT because its Permissive Action Link has been disabled. According to Los Alamos National Lab, this is very bad, because the maximum damage this bomb can cause will encompass a radius of 2.9 miles, with utter destruction within 1 mile, and possibly 100,000 people dead.
There is no time to deliver this bomb to a military base for disposal (so to speak), so McGarrett and Danno, dressed in their wedding duds, commandeer Kamekona's helicopter to fly the bomb out to sea where Los Alamos says that if it's dropped fifty miles off the coast to a depth of 2,000 feet, everything will be peachy. Considering they are using a Eurocopter AS-350BA Ecureuils which has a top speed of 150 miles an hour (info supplied by you-know-what and Google), and there are 22 minutes left on the LED clock on the nuke, this means they can take it out 50 miles and still have a recommended 2 minutes left to get the hell out of the way of the blast (though this does not take into consideration turning around). This procedure will "neutralize the radiation."
Despite having a very agitated "helicopter-gument" as they approach the drop point, Danno throws the nuke out of the copter with 1:58 remaining and it's in the water at 1:51. The massive explosion which results as the boys are on their way back to Oahu strikes me that it could potentially knock the helicopter out of the sky with a shock wave, but what do I know ... I can't find anything about this on Wikipedia, so I'm sure the writers did all the proper research.
Kono is still not at her wedding at the Royal Hawaiian Golf Club in Kailua, though a lot of other people are, and have seemingly been there for a REALLY LONG TIME. She is standing at the beach watching the nuclear cloud, anxiously holding hands with Catherine as she thinks of her boss (McGarrett) and Catherine thinks of her boyfriend (McGarrett). Kono is wearing a cami top with her bra straps showing and jeans.
After McGarrett and Danno implausibly return OK, Kono manages to get to the golf club and changed into her wedding gown (something that would normally take HOURS) in a very short space of time with her hair already dolled up, despite having run around with it that way at work. Even Kamekona, who was bitching to McGarrett that the explosion would wipe out stocks of shrimp for three months (I dunno where this figure comes from, but I can guess...), manages to arrive at the wedding before the others.
But there is a big complication ... Chin Ho has forgotten the wedding rings in his car. When he goes to get them, who should appear but Gabriel, his brother-in-law (suspected earlier on in the show of murdering some "business rival" the day before). Gabe points a gun at Chin's head and offers to play Monty Hall, i.e., "Let's Make a Deal," with Chin taking half of his profits from his various criminal enterprises in exchange for staying off Gabe's back. Chin tells him to take a hike, and it looks like Chin is going to get a bullet in the back , when Gabriel disappears in an instant, just like he arrived in the parking lot.
And at the end of the show ... KONO IS STILL NOT MARRIED!
MORE TRIVIA:
- In the auto scrap yard, McGarrett shoots Bennett, and blood is seen on his pant leg. But when Bennett falls off the car, you don't see anything: picture one; picture 2. Later, in the blue-lit room, it looks like there is a pool of blood beside Bennett's left leg (this is the leg that McGarrett later shoots), but there is no damage to his pants.
- The way the trolley comes to a park by the beach and everyone runs away in a panic brought to mind the old show's episode Anybody Can Build a Bomb, about the pursuit of a nuclear device which also takes place in a beachfront park where they detonate the bomb in a public washroom!
- Danno calls McGarrett "Dr. Strangelove" twice, suggesting he is a nuclear war expert like the character in the classic Stanley Kubrick film.
- In the scrapyard, when he is shot by McGarrett, you can see blood on one of Bennett's legs. But when he is in the blue-lit room, there is no sign that this happened.
- During the pursuit of the trolley, Grover refers to the intersection of Kalia Road and Saratoga Road, an actual location.
- Kono and Catherine -- as well as a lot of people on the beach -- can see the nuclear cloud in the distance, but after McGarrett and Danno return in the helicopter, this cloud has disappeared.
- The grey makeup for Kono's mother's hair at the wedding is even worse than it was in the Kono-lost-at-sea show two episodes ago.
- Bennett's Class D Ohio driver's license #D3304281B shows he lives at 528 Magnolia Street, Coshocton 43812. His date of birth is 08-26-85, he is 5'11" and weighs 190 pounds. The DL was issued 08-26-2001, and expires on 08-26-85, which is the same as Bennett's birthdate.
Actually US Rte 83 is even more remarkable than the fact that it runs all the way from Canada to Mexico. In Canada, it continues as Manitoba Highway 83, while in Mexico, it connects to federal highways 101 and 180. Even though it is quite pan American in scope, it is not to be confused with the Pan American Highway, which runs from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, to Usuala, Argentina, at the tip of South America. It should be noted that the entire length of the Pan American Highway is not officially part of the road. For reasons unknown to me, the US and Canada do not claim to be part of the road, even though the path runs there. There is a 100-mile gap in Panama, where the road stops for a rain forest. Otherwise, one can travel continuously. Fascinating bit of trivia, I think. H50 1.0 FOREVER
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