http://www.fiveohomepage.com/gbook
Please go and try it out. But keep this location in mind, just in case that one doesn't work out!
[Update 6 years later! The above link will take you to the new Hawaii Five-O Forum which is now located on a site other than my own...]
I was also using this blog as an experiment because when you Google-searched for my reviews of recent shows, the links to the ones on my own site would display on pages after links to the same reviews posted here. I think has something to do with the format of the pages on my site, and no doubt the lack of proper SEO (Search Engine Optimization) or something geeky like that. Or maybe Google (which owns Blogspot -- this blog) just has it in for me.
Several years ago, Google canned an account I had because the very litigious Oscars® organization complained about a clip I posted on YouTube (also owned by Google) of Jack Lord accepting an Oscar® for someone else. A long time later, I was annoyed about this, especially since someone else had posted the same clip prior to me (which is still on YouTube today [and is still on YouTube in 2022, 6 years later!), and I complained to Google, asking for my account to be reinstated. Even people who have committed horrible crimes are eventually pardoned ... unless your name is Leslie Van Houten, of course. Unfortunately, Google was not very sympathetic.
Anyway, I will be posting stuff here from time to time (unfortunately there are no reviews of the sixth and subsequent seasons; you can check these out on my own WWW site). I don't know if anyone is going to be replying to or commenting on what I have to say here. In order to post here, you have to have an account with some connection to Google, and if you don't want to do that, I am quite sympathetic. If you have something to e-mail me about, you can always reach me via the link at the bottom of my site's main page (http://www.fiveohomepage.com).
Original air date: 05/08/15
This episode, final one of the season, starts on US Route 83 near Garrison, North Dakota (though we know it is really not). Route 83, according to Wikipedia, is one of the longest north-south highways in the USA. An "Unmarked Military Transport" is travelling down this highway. There are two trucks followed by a larger truck which looks sort of like a UPS van, which in turn is followed by another two trucks. In the middle truck (I guess) are six W80 nuclear warheads. Good old Wikipedia describes the W80s as "a small thermonuclear warhead (fusion or, more descriptively, two-stage weapon) in the enduring stockpile with a variable yield of between 5 and 150 kt of TNT." The part about "5 and 150 kt of TNT" is mentioned specifically in the show along with a bunch of other shit. (Hey, do you think the writers are cribbing from Wikipedia?)
Two other military-like trucks pass this transport. Now you would think that because the transport is "unmarked" and "secret" and stuff like that, it might consider these other trucks to be suspicious, but no one bats an eyelash. These other two trucks drive real fast ahead of the transport and position themselves on opposite sides of the road and between these two trucks is strung some REALLY strong wire, which looks like a garrote. ("Garrote" is found on Wikipedia, in case you do not know what it is.)
The mechanics of all this escapes me, but what happens is, the transport, at least the first truck, drives into this wire, which slices right through the truck like a knife through butter. From what we learn later in the show, it sounds like it sliced through all five trucks of the transport, though this is hard to believe. Surely the people in the third or fourth or fifth truck would have figured out what was going on and stopped before this happened. And wasn't there a risk that the wire might have sliced through the nuclear weapons along with the trucks and the people inside? And wouldn't the trucks the wire is strung between have to be REALLY strong (and heavy) in order to pull off this manoeuvre? Questions, questions...
A bunch of guys connected with the garotting trucks, right-wing patriot crackpots led by Josh Bennett (Jeffrey Nordling), a guy who Chin Ho later describes as a "nut job," because he was not allowed to be in the US military thanks to his borderline personality disorder, grab just one of the six nukes and high tail it to Fischer Pvt (which means "private," I guess) Airport in Garrison (this is a real place, according to you-know-what).
Bennett and his pals are supposed to board a plane there, but, according to one of their members, a guy with a real short haircut (Matthew Webb), "We have a situation," military talk for "something is fucked up." The plane they were expecting to use isn't coming because of "mechanical problems." But nearby they see this other plane, a G-5 plane (meaning Gulfstream V, a business jet aircraft, blah blah blah, according to WKP), and commandeer it, telling its pilot "We're going to Hawaii."
In due course, this plane arrives in Hawaii at John Rodgers Field in Kalaeloa (this is really the name of Kalaeloa Airport, that's what WKP tells us). The pilot is dead, and within a few minutes, Grover is freaking out because the Department of Defense tells him about how nukes were stolen near Garrison, though there is no direct connection made with this plane until some guys from the HPD bomb squad with geiger counters go through the plane and determine that yes, there is residual radiation, likely from the nukes, on the plane. McGarrett looks towards the plane, and stunned, says "They're here," a line reminiscent of the classic 1950's film Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Now Kono is getting married REAL soon to Adam. Earlier, Chin Ho had a big confrontation with Adam over the pictures of Adam taken with Japanese yakuza boss Goro Shioma (see review of the last show), but Adam told Chin that "it's not what you think," and that he had travelled to Japan to try and break ties with Shioma, who had put up the original money for his (Adam's) late father's businesses in Hawaii. Shioma said no dice, he wants Adam to return to the same state his father was when he started, i.e., with no material possessions. Adam says that is cool with him, because Kono is not a material girl. Chin accepts this.
Kono shows up at the airfield with Chin, ready to put in a day's work, though McGarrett says she ought to be getting ready for her wedding. In an example of the utterly brainless dialogue the writers have given her throughout the show, when told that the bad guys only brought one of six nukes along, she says "Oh, well, there's some good news. Only one to worry about." Seriously, Kono, you should have stayed home reading Modern Bride!
I forgot to mention that Catherine, McGarrett's girl friend, has returned. We last saw her in S04E21, when she rode off into the sunset in Afghanistan to help some old friends find their son who was kidnapped by the Taliban. The return of both the character and the actress playing her, Michelle Borth, who was thought gone from the show forever, set off the usual shitstorm of people who don't like either the actress or her character in the usual fan forums. Not much happens between her and McGarrett, because he is always getting called away to work, though there are suggestions that she will be sticking around. I hope so, because Borth is a goddess and these haters can go you-know-what themselves (a word discussed in Wikipedia).
Catherine, though she has left the Navy completely, still has "intel" connections, who tell her that it is likely that Bennett is on Oahu to barter a deal with Sameer Hadad, an Al-Qaeda lieutenant who has shown a propensity for buying nuclear weapons, and there may be some connection with "a local shipping company." Five-0 quickly arrives at the docks and manages to find a container among thousands there where Hadad has set up his headquarters. After a firefight, some guy who is Hadad's pal spills the beans as to where Bennett can be located, and upon arriving at this location (an auto wrecker's), another firefight erupts. McGarrett pursues Bennett over a bunch of cars to be scrapped, during which Bennett turns and fires directly at McGarrett but, of course, does not hit him. But when McGarrett shoots back, Bennett is hit in the leg and falls through a car window and is captured.
Taken to the blue-lit room, which we learn from McGarrett during his interrogation is 60 feet underground and a four-foot-thick cinder block box ("so no one can hear you scream," I suppose), Bennett, described as a nine-to-five hardware store manager from Coshocton, Ohio (a real town!), does not break down, even after McGarrett shoots him in the leg (the same leg as was hit before, see below for further discussion about this). As to why Bennett was motivated to do this terrible deed (we're talking nuclear annihilation), he tells McGarrett that after 9/11, he was disgusted by how the government mollycoddled terrorists, and by appearing to sell the nuke to Hadad, he will make him into a scapegoat so that a war will erupt and they will soon be dropping bombs all over the Middle East, reducing it to a parking lot.
But all this is not true, because Hadad is found washed up on the beach soon after, and Max determines that he was killed BEFORE Bennett was taken into custody. In other words, Bennett is still the big boss of the plan which will transform Waikiki into what looks like the bottom of a Shake and Bake bag.
Kono, still not thinking too hard about her nuptials, tells the others that she has been reading Bennett's computer files forwarded by the DOD, and there is a reference in there to the Waikiki Trolley. A nuclear-sized light bulb comes on in her head, and -- YES! -- she has the solution to WHERE IS THE STOLEN NUKE. Five-0 rushes to find a trolley whose driver was found dead that very morning, including Catherine, who is still driving the blue Corvette she was seen using when she was last on the show. She also is carrying a gun and her car has a flashing blue light.
Pulling the trolley over near the beach, McGarrett shoots the driver -- who just happens to be Mr. Short Haircut from the Fischer Private Airport -- dead. BUT ... there is still a big problem with the nuke, which is going to go off in about two hours and THERE IS NO WAY TO DISARM IT because its Permissive Action Link has been disabled. According to Los Alamos National Lab, this is very bad, because the maximum damage this bomb can cause will encompass a radius of 2.9 miles, with utter destruction within 1 mile, and possibly 100,000 people dead.
There is no time to deliver this bomb to a military base for disposal (so to speak), so McGarrett and Danno, dressed in their wedding duds, commandeer Kamekona's helicopter to fly the bomb out to sea where Los Alamos says that if it's dropped fifty miles off the coast to a depth of 2,000 feet, everything will be peachy. Considering they are using a Eurocopter AS-350BA Ecureuils which has a top speed of 150 miles an hour (info supplied by you-know-what and Google), and there are 22 minutes left on the LED clock on the nuke, this means they can take it out 50 miles and still have a recommended 2 minutes left to get the hell out of the way of the blast (though this does not take into consideration turning around). This procedure will "neutralize the radiation."
Despite having a very agitated "helicopter-gument" as they approach the drop point, Danno throws the nuke out of the copter with 1:58 remaining and it's in the water at 1:51. The massive explosion which results as the boys are on their way back to Oahu strikes me that it could potentially knock the helicopter out of the sky with a shock wave, but what do I know ... I can't find anything about this on Wikipedia, so I'm sure the writers did all the proper research.
Kono is still not at her wedding at the Royal Hawaiian Golf Club in Kailua, though a lot of other people are, and have seemingly been there for a REALLY LONG TIME. She is standing at the beach watching the nuclear cloud, anxiously holding hands with Catherine as she thinks of her boss (McGarrett) and Catherine thinks of her boyfriend (McGarrett). Kono is wearing a cami top with her bra straps showing and jeans.
After McGarrett and Danno implausibly return OK, Kono manages to get to the golf club and changed into her wedding gown (something that would normally take HOURS) in a very short space of time with her hair already dolled up, despite having run around with it that way at work. Even Kamekona, who was bitching to McGarrett that the explosion would wipe out stocks of shrimp for three months (I dunno where this figure comes from, but I can guess...), manages to arrive at the wedding before the others.
But there is a big complication ... Chin Ho has forgotten the wedding rings in his car. When he goes to get them, who should appear but Gabriel, his brother-in-law (suspected earlier on in the show of murdering some "business rival" the day before). Gabe points a gun at Chin's head and offers to play Monty Hall, i.e., "Let's Make a Deal," with Chin taking half of his profits from his various criminal enterprises in exchange for staying off Gabe's back. Chin tells him to take a hike, and it looks like Chin is going to get a bullet in the back , when Gabriel disappears in an instant, just like he arrived in the parking lot.
And at the end of the show ... KONO IS STILL NOT MARRIED!
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Original air date: 05/08/15
This show, first of a double-header for the season finale, began with another two-part "previously on Five-0."
The first of these flashed back to seasons one and two with scenes between Danno and his ex-wife Rachel (Claire van der Boom) who reappeared in this episode. We find out later that Charlie, the baby boy that Rachel had delivered in or around S02E14 is not Stan's child at all, but Danno's. Rachel didn't want Danno to know this because she didn't want two kids to potentially grow up without a father in the event something happened to Danno.
This all pisses Danno off immensely, who describes what Rachel has done as "unforgiveable" because he has been deprived of the kid's presence for three years. This results in some high-powered emoting between Danno and Rachel, as well Danno and McGarrett, who gives his partner some advice about putting his anger aside, telling Danno that "parents shouldn't fight."
It turns out that Charlie is suffering from HLH (full name: hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis), a life-threatening condition where cells of the immune system don’t work properly to destroy infected or damaged cells as they should. One of the treatments for this condition involves a bone-marrow transplant, which is where Danno comes in.
The second flashback was to Chin Ho receiving the pictures of Adam and some mysterious Asian guy left for him by Gabriel in S05E21. This segued into the present, with Chin Ho being dropped off on Sand Island by a couple of Japanese-speaking dudes, who tell him to keep a hood on his head until he has counted to twenty (does Chin speak Japanese?).
Although Chin already showed the photos to McGarrett in a previous episode, Chin then goes to McGarrett's house and reveals some "intel" that he got about the pictures, presumably from these Japanese guys: namely, that the older man in the photos with Adam is Goro Shioma, a Tokyo financier who helped bankroll Adam's deceased (really now-deceased, I think) father Hiro. Shioma is also an oyabun (big shot) of a major yakuza organization.
How this was all explained to Chin Ho is not made clear. I don't know why Chin didn't just run the pictures of Shioma through Five-0's Supercomputer facial recognition program, since it seems to be able to figure who just about anyone in the world is.
Then we jump to the crime of the week.
An HPD cop stops some guy (actually a bounty hunter named Greg Farmer (Matt Lasky)) in the middle of nowhere because his car's tail light is malfunctioning. The cop wants to look in the trunk to see if there's a loose wire (is he just using this as an excuse?), which freaks out Farmer. Later we see what happened thanks to the cop's dashboard cam which has the same date as that of the show -- May 8, 2015: the cop opened the trunk and extracted another guy from there, who is Andrew Pelham (Robert Curtis Brown), alias David Sutter, an ex-cop wanted on the mainland for brutal homicides involving torture a couple of years before.
Five-0 tracks Sutter down to an apartment at 2026 Anakole Place in Pearl City (ZIP 96782) thanks to some asphalt residue from both Pelham's and Farmer's shoes (turns out that a city works crew was repairing the street in front of Pelham's house the light before -- sheesh). Of course, when they arrive, Pelham is not there, but another bounty hunter, the bearded Richie Malloy is, also searching for Pelham, who has a $40,000 reward on his head.
After some initial misunderstandings which result in Malloy being handcuffed, Malloy is let go, though I suspected that this was not the last we would see of him. And it turns out that later, after Five-0 tracks Pelham down to an apartment when he tries to use another one of his aliases to buy an airline ticket out of the country, Malloy shows up, thanks to a cel phone he taped to the underside of McGarrett's car (which he could follow with the GPS). Malloy shoots Pelham in what looks like a pretty serious manner with his shotgun and tucks the fugitive into his car. Malloy is after more than the $40,000 bounty, though. His financial records reveal that $300,000 has been put into his bank account from Malcolm Leddy (Robert Curtis Brown), father of Jennifer, one of Pelham's victims.
Malloy has turned Pelham over to Leddy, who, using knowledge from his studies years before at medical school, prepares to give Pelham the same sadistic treatment given to Jennifer in the basement of a rented Oahu house.
The scenes that followed were, to be blunt, kind of a mess (no pun intended in advance).
Letty has Pelham shackled in the basement of the house hanging from the ceiling; Pelham's feet (which have no socks or shoes) are not tied up.
Letty removes one of Pelham's hands from the shackles and uses pliers to squeeze his finger, perhaps breaking it. Then Letty tries to cut off Pelham's scalp, but freaks out and, in frustration, pushes the table with all the knives and other torture implements so everything falls on the floor.
At this point, from one angle, it looks like there is nothing close to Pelham, though from another angle there might be something. I don't think it is the knife later shown in closeup, and, in any case, I think it is highly unlikely that Pelham can reach the knife.
In order to do this, he would have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h, grab the knife with his feet and then somehow get this knife into his free hand (which has a severely damaged finger), while hanging from the ceiling by one hand! He certainly could not reach the knife on the floor with just his hand while hanging from the ceiling.
Assuming he does all this, Pelham gets the knife and cuts off his own thumb to escape from the shackles, then attacks and seriously injures Letty, and then somehow manages to stick his hand (without a thumb) back through the shackles to look like he was hanging from the ceiling!
At one point, Letty starts to go upstairs, either to -- as Pelham mockingly says -- call the cops, or just to cool off. At this point, you cannot see a knife on the floor in front of Pelham at all.
After McGarrett comes downstairs, he finds the father on the floor, with Pelham's cut-off thumb under him.
Whether the attack on Letty happened upstairs or downstairs is a good question, because when Five-0 shows up at the house, a lot of stuff on the main floor is broken. But then why would Pelham cut off his thumb, come upstairs and attack Letty, and not just leave the house right then, instead dragging the father's body downstairs and stringing himself up in the shackles again? The upstairs scenario also makes you wonder why the thumb was under Letty downstairs (so does the downstairs scenario, actually).
Once again, there is some critical scene in a show where everything after depends on it, and it goes off the rails at that point (up to then, the show was quasi-passable). Just a bit of care with the continuity, like showing how Pelham got the knife to cut off his thumb, etc., and it would have made much more sense ... well, maybe.
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Original air date: 05/01/15
In this show, Kono goes on a symbolic outrigger voyage to complete something her mother wanted to do before she was stricken by an aneurysm. This part of the show was very good, and featured Grace Park's most dramatic performance of the entire series so far, despite the fact it had little to do with Five-0, other than the heavy "ohana" angle.
All the major characters for the show assembled on the beach at the beginning to wish Kono well, including her mother (Catherine Haena Kim), pushed across the sand in a wheelchair by her father (Ken Narasaki). Kono's mother was seen with her in numerous flashbacks to her childhood, where she was played by Miya Cech and her mother seemingly taught Kono everything she knew about surfing.
Of course, on Kono's journey, things go horribly wrong. The weather takes a change for the worse, and Kono ends up in more peril than any human being can possibly endure. First she loses her outrigger, then she has to stay on her surfboard despite a deluge straight out of The Perfect Storm. Chin Ho is constantly freaking out about Kono, despite having to work on the crime of the week.
That part of the show, unfortunately, was not particularly interesting.
The most recent of several drugstore robberies has resulted in the death of a pharmacist. What was stolen were decongestants containing pseudoephedrine to be used in the manufacture of meth.
Reviewing security footage, Chin Ho recognizes the tattoo of Makai Akana (Philip Moon), a meth cook who Chin sent to prison some time before. Five-0 goes to Akana's house, but his son Carter (Jordan Rodrigues) doesn't know where his father is and doesn't want to know.
With no explanation as to how they track Akana down, Five-0 locates him in the middle of nowhere, specifically the Kawaiunui Marsh, described by Wikipedia as "the largest wetlands in the Hawaiian Islands." There Akana is producing meth, but when arrested, he says that he is being forced to do this by a guy named Willie Moon who is threatening to kill his son. But when they return to this location to pick up Moon, after busting him, it turns out that the big brains behind the robberies was none other than Carter, who said that his father "owed him" for ruining his life.
Seriously, this show would have been a lot better if the Kono story had taken up the whole hour.
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Original air date: 04/24/15
The premise of this show is three around-40-year-old accountants from Cleveland -- Jake Lockhard (Pauly Shore), Mickey Dickson (Kevin Farley) and Nolan Fremont (Jaleel White) -- travel to Hawaii during spring break to try and make out with partying women, many of whom are young enough to be their daughters. The results are predictable, similar to a recent Facebook/YouTube video where some guy, as part of a "social experiment," asks women on the street if they would have sex with him. In the video most of the women are either horrified or just laugh at the guy asking (though he is younger than the three on the show). Same thing for this episode.
The three men are pretending to go to Hawaii to hunt wild boars. In order to do this, they have to transport rifles, and presumably ammuntion, on the planes. This is not particularly easy according to various TSA regulations, and whether this would even be encouraged by the wild game outfits, who would typically supply the hunters with firearms or even crossbows, is a good question. This hunting ruse does not convince one of the men's wives, who leaves him voice mail, calling him a "hairless, ball-less loser."
Speaking of questions, there are plenty of them about this show:
Considering comedian Shore is synonymous with "lame" in certain circles, there was apprehension in some Internet forums about how he would fare on the show, but his performance wasn't bad. On the other hand, Farley overacted, channelling his late brother Chris, especially the scene where he leapt into the ball pit. White's character, the least "comedic" of the trio, was the most rational and sober.
The episode's obligatory sub-plot was dumb. Using a motorcycle, Jerry is delivering food for Kamekona when he notices a woman, later identified via a computerized Identikit as Natalie Morris, being abducted on the street. It turns out that she was grabbed by her criminal business partner named William Malo who she later shoots dead. Morris and Malo are involved in some slave-trafficking operation, where people are lured to Hawaii from other countries and then forced to pick coffee on some plantation (seriously).
Kono and Chin Ho go to the Big Island to investigate this, and deal with it without any help whatsoever from the local cops or anyone else from Five-0. They manage to take out the armed people who are guarding the operation without any problems (there are only two of them) and then drive quickly to the island's Kawaihae Harbor docks where they engage in a firefight with Morris who jumps on to a pallet of coffee being loaded on to a ship. She is shot dead, just like one of the guards at the plantation, and falls into the water. So once again, Five-0 eliminates suspects in a major crime, and this slave-trade crime was a big deal, because the woman and her partner were both wanted by the FBI and featured on "Fugitive Profiles," an "America's Most Wanted"-type TV show.
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Original air date: 04/10/15
While setting this show at an Elvis impersonator get-together in Honolulu was potentially a good idea, some of the script by David Wolkove almost seemed as if the writer had never seen past shows, which is odd, because Wolkove has been involved as executive story editor, story editor, the author of the story, the teleplay or the script itself for a very large number of episodes.
The show began with not one, but two “previously on Five-0” sequences which wasted just over two minutes of time. One of these was easier to understand why it was included, being a prelude to the conclusion of last week’s show where Grover told his former friend and fellow cop Clay Maxwell, suspected of spousal homicide, that he would go to Chicago and do everything he could to “lock [Maxwell’s] ass up.” The other flashback went back three and four episodes where respectively (1) there was a major jewellery heist (a show co-written by Wolkove) and (2) Chin was arrested by Internal Affairs investigator Coughlin as part of his brother-in-law Gabriel’s plan to get out of jail and Gabriel later murdered Coughlin.
You have to wonder why these two sequences appeared in the show at all, though these summaries have been more frequent this season. Are the number of people watching the show dropping, or is it just their attention spans? Or is this intended to provide continuity for the show when broadcast in syndication, assuming that it is not broadcast in the same order it is shown, or what? After all, we’re only talking about a range of five episodes, and there have been plot threads across multiple episodes in the show previously where viewers didn’t have to be reminded of what happened before in this manner.
Following this, we jumped to the Memphis Forever Tribute at the bogus Walani Hotel, where former Hawaiian rock star/now Elvis “tribute artist” Lane Collins (Peter Dobson) was singing “Burning Love” to an enthusiastic crowd before keeling over and dying shortly after. The sound mix for this part of the show was typically terrible, though probably just as well, because it covered up trivia spouted by the Elvis-costumed Jerry (a theme throughout the show, much to Danno’s annoyance) and lines by Max –- dressed as Elvis’s manager Colonel Tom Parker -- like the ridiculous “It takes serious sartorius muscles to pull off pelvic gyrations like that.”
Collins’ death was no accident, according to Max, but murder after someone put cyanide in a bottle of Cardigan’s Bourbon found in Collins’ dressing room. Suspicious minds drifted towards a suspect in Kaleo Fisher (Evan Gamble), formerly a guitarist in Collins’ popular group Freelance Riot, who has recently been abusing Collins on Twitter. When confronted at a hotel where he is singing songs like Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" to tourists, Fisher says “Social media isn’t the best place to express yourself.” One wonders if anything should be read into this. considering the problems former star of the show Michelle Borth had in this area. Fisher did not kill Collins, but points McGarrett and Grover in the direction of someone who likely did.
In the sequence that followed, I found the treatment by McGarrett and Grover of Jane Miller (Calico Cooper), a fan so obsessed with Collins to the extent she killed him to "to protect his legacy," so "people will remember him for what he really was" very mean-spirited, unlike anything “previously seen” on the show when dealing with suspects. Handcuffed in the blue-lit room, any feelings of respect for her quickly went out the window with lines like this:
McGarrett: I'm pretty sure that Lane knew you were obsessed with him. It's just too bad that he didn't know how certifiably crazy you are.
Grover [a couple of minutes later, as he is leaving]: Whew, you're crazy.
McGarrett [later, outside the room]: So, I mean, how's the irony completely lost on this woman? The inspiration for killing her idol is the song she got the words wrong to.
Grover: Well, what'd you expect? The girl's 118 pounds of crazy.
While Miller really did kill Collins, blurting out a confession at about the halfway point of the show, she was yet another red herring in the big scheme of things because a comment by the trivia-obsessed Jerry led Danno to the man who designed Collins’ jewel-studded Elvis outfit which was just not what it should have been. This guy was found dead on the floor of his local costume supply business almost at the same time as three masked men entered the medical examiner’s office and stole Collins’ body (and his costume), holding Max at gunpoint.
Collins’ body is found close by shortly after, and one of the jewels left on his body yields a serial number on a diamond which is connected to the robbery a few episodes before, leading Five-0 to sleazy pawnshop owner and fence Barry Burns (Jon Lovitz, returning). Forced to spend his time at home with an ankle monitor restricting his movements, Burns has had visits from people inquiring about the location of the jewels from the robbery. In one of the few big laughs in the show, he tells McGarrett that if he didn’t get a deal from Five-0 to avoid jail, he’d “probably be someone’s prison bitch right now.”
His protestations to the contrary, it later turns out that Burns knew the location of the diamonds, which were in a private locker in a wine cellar, placed there by Radomir Ivanovic, the man who stole them. You will recall Radomir was gunned down by HPD at the end of the robbery episode. Burns assembled a “crew” to get these diamonds and arranged for the jewels to be sewn into the Elvis getup. These men would join the “Elvii” (Jerry’s annoying term) when they returned to the mainland and thus escape detection.
But Collins picked up the wrong outfit from the designer, leading to his involvement in this complicated plot. To make matters worse, Ivanovic’s brother Adrian (Ilia Volok), accused of committing war crimes in Bosnia, as well as extortion, kidnapping and murder for hire, is on the trail of the gems and arrives in Honolulu to threaten Burns, who spills the beans about his crew, who are promptly murdered by Adrian in room 1650 of the Walani Hotel. Adrian dons the jewelled outfit and attempts to flee, but the usual idiotic firefight ensues outside the hotel and he is killed by McGarrett, to whom Kono says “Nice shot, boss.”
Since there are seven minutes left in the show at this point, you know what is coming: drinks, this time at Rumfire, a bar located in the Sheraton Waikiki Resort (one of the show’s sponsors). Here we are treated to Jerry singing another hit from “the King,” Love Me. Jorge Garcia does a creditable job with this imitation, but there was a major element of “Puh-leeze” to what took up almost two minutes of show time.
But wait, there’s more! Chin is on his way to Rumfire when he is called by Gabriel, who says that there is something of interest back at Chin’s house, so Chin skedaddles there fast. By the time he arrives, the bomb squad has already checked out the place and found nothing. A cop hands Chin an envelope which contains pictures of Kono’s boyfriend Adam Noshimuri with some Asian guy who I originally thought to be his father Hiro (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), who we have not seen since Ua Hopu (Caught), episode 22 from season 2, where it was assumed that he was the bloody mess in Wo Fat’s bathtub in Japan. But I was told this is not correct and on checking, I discovered both of the actors in this photo, Ian Anthony Dale and Tagawa, are around 6 feet tall, which the older man is plainly not. Presumably this older guy is some Japanese yakuza boss (or maybe Wo Fat's father??), to be determined in an upcoming show, obviously leading up to what is supposedly the Kono-centric episode to come this season.
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